10 Reasons Obama is Better than Jesus
10 Reasons Obama is Better than Jesus
1. Obama will fix the world in 4-8 years, Jesus has been at for 2000 years and counting
2. Obama soothes us with eloquent platitudes, Jesus spoke in confusing parables
3. Obama has the moral courage to be both against the death penalty and for abortion, Jesus only had courage enough to face the Romans
4. Obama wants to appease the world, Jesus was way too melodramatic and just died for it
5. Obama intercedes between me and my wallet, Jesus is all nosy and intercedes between me and God
6. Obama cares for the poor by stealing from the Rich, Jesus tells them they are better off poor
7. Obama renders unto the government everything, Jesus was way stingier and only rendered unto Ceaser what was his which is kind of lame, because how was Ceasar supposed to build the new personal aqueduct without taking all of your money?
8. Obama knows how to party and used to get high, Jesus is just a lame old High Priest
9. Obama will sell all you have and give it to the poor, Jesus can’t handle controversy and just asks you to do it politely
10. Obama prefers to sort out his dealings with manufactured rhetoric, whereas Jesus was rude enough to drive tax collectors out of the temple with a whip, clearly Jesus should have initiated 4-party talks before taking unilateral action