“I am the resurrection and the Life.”
After I have let this blog lay dormant for quite some time, I have decided to again start blogging regularly. Part of the reason I stopped blogging here is because many of the things I have written here previously no longer agree with my theology. More specifically, I have become what most people would call a five-point Calvinist. My transformation into a Calvinist was a long and difficult one, which forced me to come to terms with several aspects of my personality, most notably pride. In many ways my conversion to Calvinism was a lot like my conversion to Christianity in general. I remember it quite vividly; I was assigned the rather boring task of mowing the back lawn. As the drudgery of the task began to wear on me, my mind wandered. There were doubts in my 13 year old mind that were beginning to make me question my belief. I had thought about them long and hard, and for the first time, rejecting the religion of my parents seemed like a real option. There was no Damascus road experience for me, just an unnatural and sudden certainty that the words of the Gospel were true. I began that lawnmowing chore as a boy and finished as a Christian.
Several years later, after tragedy, legalism, hypocrisy, and doubt had all cycled through, I emerged a steadfast believer and real Christian. A friend of mine referred me to the blog of this cool guy on the internet name James White. I remember him saying something along the lines of “His stuff is pretty good, but he is a calvinist.” Not knowing what Calvinism was, I, of course, asked several people about this foreign concept known as Calvinism. The response I got was that Calvinism is believing God arbitrarilly picks who goes to heaven and who goes to hell. Armed with my newfound knowledge, I marched into James White’s chatroom and proceeded to give them what for. My efforts fantastically and unamazingly went down in flames. As time progressed, I labored over their arguments unknowingly adopting thoughts and ideologies of those long dead. I transitioned from Ignorance to Pelagianism(I did not rwalize the consequences theologically speaking of the statements I made that would fit under this catagory) to Arminianism to Molinism to You name it as long as it isn’t Calvinism to finally a Centrist position. Here I remained for some time affirming the truth of both sides of the argument, until a curious thing started happening. I could not stand to see a position caricaturized, even if I did not hold it. So I took the knowledge I had acquired in my grueling (and often embarrassing) battles in #prosapologian, and used it to argue against the mockers and detracters of Calvinism. The line between my Centrism and Calvinism began to grow slimmer and slimmer, until one day I realized that the only thing that seperated me from Calvinism was a name. I put away my pride and emerged a more doctrinally sound and theologically honest person. And so, do not think poorly of me for the inaccuracies I have written, but rather let them stand testament to the fact that God changes hearts. And hopefully, he will change the world. One stubborn young man at a time.